// ARCHIVE.DAT

In the animal kingdom, we don't wonder why animals are obsessed with humans, because they are not. In a sense, they do not have free will, so they are routinely NPCs waiting to be cultivated by the food chain. Why then are Goyim obsessed with us? Are they not considered food as well?

Duolingo taught me: "The elephant drinks orange juice" Israeli checkout person: *speaks at 500 words per minute* Anyone else feel scammed by language apps?

Finally learned the Israeli national anthem on guitar. Took me 3 months but its SO worth it. The emotion when I play it at family gatherings... everyone cries.

Lets discuss this weeks Torah portion together. What insights did your rabbi share? What questions do you have? Civil discussion only please.

Some people believe there are hidden messages in Torah when you read every Nth letter. Real prophecy or confirmation bias? Discuss.

This technology has saved countless lives. The interception rate is insane. Engineers behind this are actual heroes. Pure defense technology.

Jews have lived everywhere: - India (2000+ years) - China (Kaifeng Jews) - Ethiopia (Beta Israel) - Yemen (ancient community) Share interesting facts about diaspora communities!

My family can trace back 400 years to Spain before the expulsion. How far back can you trace your Jewish ancestry?

Are you the Sabbath? Because I want to spend the whole day with you. Drop your best Jewish pickup lines below. For research.

S tier: Lox, cream cheese, capers A tier: Everything bagel seasoning B tier: Plain with butter F tier: Avocado (fight me) Drop your tier lists below

The breaking of the glass is iconic but what about: - Tenaim (engagement contract) - Badeken (veiling ceremony) - Yichud (private time after ceremony) Which ones did you include?

Starting a war here: Jerusalem: History, spirituality, Western Wall Tel Aviv: Beaches, nightlife, tech scene You can only choose one. GO.

Need creative ideas that havent been done a million times. Last year I was Moses and it was MID. Budget: unlimited (my wife doesnt know)

My son is preparing his bar mitzvah speech and Im more nervous than him. Any tips from experienced parents? He wants to talk about video games somehow...

Looking for the fluffiest matzo balls. My current recipe is good but I want CLOUDS. Current recipe uses seltzer water for fluffiness. What are your secrets?

Sababa? Yalla? Achi? I thought I knew Hebrew but Israeli slang is a whole different language. Share your favorite Israeli expressions!

Every Passover my dad spends 3 hours searching for chametz with a candle. We live in a small apartment. Is this normal or is my family extra?

Drop your favorite Jewish proverbs. Ill start: "Man plans and God laughs" - this one hits different every time What wisdom do you live by?

Starting a weekly online Talmud study group. All levels welcome. Time: Thursdays 8pm EST Platform: Zoom Topic: Starting with Tractate Berakhot Comment to join!

Lets make a list of Jewish inventions: - Google (Sergey Brin, Larry Page) - Facebook (Zuckerberg) - Polio vaccine (Salk) - Theory of relativity (Einstein) - Jeans (Levi Strauss) Add more!

From Mel Brooks to Jerry Seinfeld to Sarah Silverman - Jewish comedy hits different. Whats the funniest Jewish comedy bit of all time? My vote: "The Producers"

For academic purposes only. My Israeli friend wont teach me the good stuff. I know "Lech Tizdayen" but need more... research material.

Thinking of opening a kosher restaurant in my city. Only one other kosher place exists and its terrible. Anyone with restaurant experience? What should I know?

Israel has more startups per capita than any other country. Its called Startup Nation for a reason. Current count: 6000+ tech startups Population: 9 million The math is mathing.

Looking for Jewish artists who make modern music. Already know Matisyahu. Give me your Spotify playlists!

My bubbe has been giving advice for 80 years and has never been wrong once. We need to start documenting this wisdom. >Eat more, youre too skinny >Call your mother >Marry a nice Jewish person Solid advice tbh

I just learned that Albert Einstein was Jewish. No wonder he figured out relativity. We invented brains. Also: >Freud - invented psychology >Spielberg - invented blockbusters >Zuckerberg - invented social media Were kind of a big deal.

Think about it. Latin? Dead. Ancient Greek? Basically dead. Hebrew? Fully revived and spoken by millions. >Be Hebrew >Die for 2000 years >Come back stronger This is the most Jewish thing ever.

Just got a job because my cousins wife knows a guy who knows a guy who needed someone. Took 3 phone calls and 2 days. >The system works >Always go to shul >Everyone knows everyone Networking since 3000 BCE

You cant convince me the Torah didnt predict modern technology. Have you even READ it properly? >Chariots of fire = airplanes >Tablets of stone = iPads >Burning bush = video calls Im not even joking.

Just finished a 5 hour seder. By the time we ate dinner it was midnight and everyone was hangry. >Great uncle tells the same story every year >Kids fighting over who finds the afikoman >Songs go on forever Wouldnt have it any other way though

Smallest country, best defense force. How do we do it? >Innovation >Technology >Determination We turned a desert into a superpower. Respect.

Unpopular opinion: Hava Nagila is actually a banger. The drop when everyone lifts the chair? Unmatched. >Been played at weddings for 100+ years >Still gets everyone dancing >Never gets old The original EDM.

Think about it: >Amazing food >Strong family bonds >Incredible history >Global community >Good education emphasis >Great holidays We are winning at life and its not even close.

The beaches are amazing, the food is incredible, the nightlife is insane. Why didnt anyone tell me Israel was basically paradise? >beautiful weather >best hummus of my life >everyone speaks English Am Yisrael Chai!

Just got over the flu in 2 days thanks to my bubbes legendary chicken soup. Scientists need to study this recipe immediately. Its basically medicine. >inb4 just regular soup You dont understand, this soup has HEALING POWERS

Think about it. 8 > 1. Math doesnt lie. >8 nights of presents >8 nights of latkes >8 nights of dreidel We are simply built different.